


We Will Never Break

by Katybug1992



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:26:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27584734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katybug1992/pseuds/Katybug1992
Summary: You were with Jaden when he got drafted to Saint Louis. You were with Jaden when he went to World Juniors, the second time with the C on his sweater. You there through fights over stupid things that got made big things because of the time spent apart - those thankfully died down when you joined him in Saint Louis after graduation. You were there when he lost Mandi and you were there to watch him use it to push himself harder. You were there through injuries and you were there to watch him lift the Cup over his head.
Relationships: Jaden Schwartz/Reader
Kudos: 2





	We Will Never Break

**Author's Note:**

> Based on "We Will Never Break" by John Legend.
> 
> Transferring over from my Tumblr.

You were childhood sweethearts. Together since you were sixteen. You were with Jaden when he got drafted to Saint Louis. You were with Jaden when he went to World Juniors, the second time with the C on his sweater. You there through fights over stupid things that got made big things because of the time spent apart - those thankfully died down when you joined him in Saint Louis after graduation. You were there when he lost Mandi and you were there to watch him use it to push himself harder. You were there through injuries and you were there to watch him lift the Cup over his head.

Through everything you had each other. When things got rocky, when the future was uncertain, when he was a pain in the ass because he hated being injured, when you were stuck dealing the The Kids because Jaden had become Team Mom somewhere along the way (neither of you knew when and no one was more surprised than Jaden at that development). When things got hard, your relationship got stronger. 

When Jaden proposed, it was by the sea lions at the Zoo. When you got married, it was at a small chapel back home. And Jaden surprised both of you by being the one to stress out most (it was definitely Brayden’s fault and Kelsey had rolled her eyes and smacked the back of his head).

“Of everything I have worried about my whole life, I never worried about us,” Jaden told you as he recited the vows he wrote, “We were always the one thing I knew I could right.”

And you tried not to cry, you told yourself you weren’t going to cry. But you let out a laugh at his grin when you started crying.

Everything about the ceremony and reception was perfectly you two, even if Brayden took credit for the cake.

+

The pregnancy was completely unplanned but wholly wanted. And you made a grand show of telling Jaden. Down to the tiny jersey with the number 17 and word “Daddy” on the back that you already couldn’t wait to put your little one in.

And Jaden had looked at you in shock for a moment before his face broke into a grin and he hugged you as tightly as dared. And you ignored the tears you felt on the side of your head, knowing he would deny it immediately if you pointed out that he was crying.

Jaden jumped right into dad mode. He went out the next day and got everything he needed to start baby-proofing the condo. 

A trip to IKEA later and Jaden was leaning against the nursery door frame, watching Sammy, Vince, Robby, and Rou attempting to put the furniture together. Jaden did have to step in when Rou almost jumped on Sammy because the dresser they were working on was lopsided. You did end up having to draw a line because the Kids kept sneaking stuffed animals into the nursery and Jaden wasn’t going to stop them (also, they always wanted to help so the walls got painted much quicker).

Kelsey called dibs on planning the baby shower and you smiled softly when Steener pulled Jaden aside to give him something that resulted in Jaden hugging the older man, both of their eyes misty. And Jaden might not be Steener’s rookie anymore but that was a relationship that stuck. 

“What did Steener give you?” you asked after everyone had left and you were sorting the gifts into piles.

“A tie clip,” Jaden replied, pulling the box out of his pocket and gingerly handing it over to you.

It was a simple gold tie clip, a blue note engraved in the center. But the note was what caught your eye, and what had definitely been what had gotten to Jaden. It simply said, “Congrats. Proud of you, Kid”. You smiled and stood up, pressing a kiss to his cheek and he gently took the box back.

Jaden constantly talked to your belly. He told your belly all about his day. About how he couldn’t wait until baby could go to the rink for the first time. About how he got a chest holder just to take baby onto the ice with him. About how he could not wait to get baby their first pair of ice skates and teach them how to skate. About how maybe then they could get you on the ice with them.

He even insisted on doing it while he was on road trips. So you would put the phone on speaker and hold it next to your bump and let him tell baby all about the trip so far and about airplanes and the prank war Uncles Borts and Schenner had started against Uncles Dunner and Sammy. About how Uncle Robby had already volunteered to babysit whenever. And about the books Uncle Colton had ordered for baby and that would be arriving soon. And about how Uncles Steener and Pear were probably as excited as baby’s grandparents to meet them. About how Uncle Petro would make sure to meet baby as soon as he could, same with Uncle Bouw. About how Uncles Reavo and Otter said they would teach baby how to fight but they couldn’t tell momma that.

And just like you did when he did it home, you fell asleep to the soft tone of his voice.

+

You were almost to the seventh month, a week shy, when you noticed some spotting. Your doctor said to call immediately if it got heavier or if you experienced any other symptoms. 

Jaden insisted that you didn’t move the rest of the night. An hour later, the cramps were so bad you could barely breathe and you knew without checking that you were bleeding.

And Jaden did amazing at holding it together the entire way to the hospital, calling the doctor for you because you knew you wouldn’t be able to make that phone call. You both knew what was happening.

+

Jaden held you on the hospital bed as you cried, trying desperately to keep it together for you.

+

When you got home, you went straight to the bedroom and shut the door and you heard Jaden in the home gym.

The nursery door stays shut. Locked. Neither you nor Jaden could even look at it for several weeks.

And Jaden threw himself into his job, refused to take any time off. And you know him. You know it’s because he doesn’t want to dwell on it.

And you think this will be the thing that finally breaks you both. That breaks your bond. That destroys the relationship.

Because it feels like Jaden is never home. And it feels like when he is, he really isn’t, that he’s somewhere else mentally.

And Jayne reached out to you, told you about how Alex handled Gabriel’s passing, and you know Petro has talked to Jaden. But none of that helps because Jaden isn’t Alex.

More than once you’ve seen Jaden sitting across from the locked nursery door, just looking at it, and you have no idea what he’s thinking.

It comes to a head when you’re in the middle of a fight, both of you trying to stay calm because yelling won’t solve anything. But you need Jaden to understand.

“I need you here!” you finally yelled, tears spilling down your face, “I need you here.”

You hugged yourself and let out the sob you’ve been holding in, waiting for him to leave - like you’ve been waiting for since you came home from the hospital.

But instead, you felt his arms wrap around you and you returned the gesture, crying into his chest as he held you tightly - both of you breaking down, standing there in your kitchen and holding on like you would both drown if one or both of you let go.

+

Things slowly return to normal, as normal as they would ever be.

You joined a pregnancy loss support group in Saint Louis. You talked to Jayne on the bad days when Jaden is on roadtrips. The Blues Better Halves were always there for you when you needed them. 

You still saw Jaden sometimes sitting across from the nursery door but you still have no idea what he’s thinking. And you don’t ask him. Because he would tell you if it was important.

It took time. It took time for you both to even broach the topic of trying again. And then to actually try again when your doctor said that you had no lasting physical damage.

Two years later has you looking down at your four month ultrasound.

You hadn’t told Jaden yet. It was a busy part of the season and the homestands had been short. You weren’t showing much, which your doctor told you not to worry about. That the baby was healthy. You tried not to think about the fact that Amelia had been healthy at this point in the pregnancy, too.

When you got home, you taped the ultrasound to the nursery door before getting ready for lunch with the Better Halves. Sammy’s new girlfriend would be joining for the first time and she seemed like a sweet girl.

+

When you got home, Jaden was standing in front of the nursery door, looking at the ultrasound. He must have gotten home not even five minutes ago.

“Baby’s healthy,” you breathed out, getting his attention, “I was scared. I wanted to make sure that nothing would happen, waited to tell you until I cleared The Window. Obviously… but chances are slimmer now.”

He just looked at you for a minute before huffing out a laugh and grinning. He kissed you when you reached him.

“I love you,” Jaden whispered, “you’ve been so fucking strong.”

“Because I had you,” you replied, kissing him again.

+

The next six months go slowly. So slowly. Both of you waiting for the other shoe to drop. Jaden unlocked the nursery when you cleared month six and started cleaning it. 

That’s also when you told your friends and family.

You went shopping for clothes when you hit month eight. 

The end of month nine finds Jaden laying behind you on a hospital bed again. But this time, you’re both smiling down at the bundle wrapped in blue. Taking in a few minutes just the two of you before the room is filled with parents and siblings, with teammates and their better halves.

“I love you,” Jaden whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple and caressing your son’s cheek. Your son who already looks like his dad.

If the past couple of years couldn’t break you two apart, nothing could.


End file.
